He thanked me afterward. I waited on the sidewalk for my Dad to come pick me up in a sort of a daze, thinking about what had just happened. I wasn’t a virgin anymore. I don’t remember it hurting. I don’t think there was any blood. I lost my virginity to my best friend’s boyfriend. I didn’t feel more mature. I felt dirty. I felt vacant.
They were back together a few days later.
I don’t remember how she found out. It didn’t matter. She was betrayed, and we had our own messy break-up. I was ashamed, am ashamed for how disrespectful I was to my friend, and also to myself. We eventually reconciled somewhat and became friendly with each other senior year. We even hung out on occasion.